I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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