Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Its about making memories worth repressing
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
