Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Your tits are I can't wait for
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
