So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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