Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
