i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
