"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
