Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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