he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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