yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
