if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
