ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
