you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
