So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
