We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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