So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
