You're so nebulous sometimes
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
