I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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