im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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