I bet he comes in French.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
