I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
