At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I intend to get homeless drunk
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
