dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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