You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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