During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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