I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
