oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
