You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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