Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
