some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
