I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
