so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
