If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
