apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Come see our sink grown plant.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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