Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize