You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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