I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Everyone says I win the strip club
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
