Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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