i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
