I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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