youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My underwear smells like fireworks.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
