singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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