the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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