At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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