I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
