Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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