There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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