Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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