Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
