My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
