Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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