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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
