we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
