Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
