even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
