super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
