She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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