North Korea, Best Korea!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
