'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize