And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize