i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
