I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
