don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
