I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I looked at my own cervix.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
