Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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