i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
