She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
farters have to be the big spoon...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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