dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
